I
have struggled with anxiety my whole life. I have read every article,
book and pamphlet in the doctor’s office waiting room and online. I
understand anxiety. I understand how to cope with it. I understand
that many share this struggle with me. What I don’t understand is why
I have it. How did this happen and why can’t I fix it? I can only
assume that it is the result of past traumas and a life with too much
stress combined with my Type A personality, my personal expectations
for myself and an undeniable need to control what I cannot.
The
interesting part, is that I know who I am and I know where I need to
improve. Awareness is half the battle, right? So why do I still feel
this way? This is a question that I often ask myself.
On one
of many nights, as I lay awake thinking about life, overthinking
everything on my plate, analyzing the details of my day, falling into
a state of negativity and feeling an overwhelming anxiousness, I had
a moment of clarity amongst the chaos that my heart, mind and body
were feeling.
I realized that I can be a victim of my anxiety
or I can stand up to it and beat it. I realized that I can keep
understanding why I have it and never do anything about it except
cope, or I can stop coping and start doing.
Anxiety Disorder
is classified as a medical condition. One that often goes
unrecognized. There are ways to treat it with medication, but that
isn’t for me. Not that this doesn’t work for others, to each their
own. But for me, that would be just another coping mechanism.
My
anxiety is internal. It stems from the areas in my life and being
that need improvement. I need a different kind of medication, and it
doesn’t come in a bottle. I need personal development, I need a
mindset shift, I need self-care. I need to change the head that I am
currently living in. I know what I need to do, and I’m prepared to do
it. I’m prepared to become a better step-mother, a better daughter, a
better fiancé, a better friend and a better business owner. A better
me.
I am on a never-ending journey to be the best
possible version of myself, we all are. Nobody is perfect. We all
have room to improve and taking the time to personally develop and
take care of ourselves is the conscious choice to improve one’s life
to become a better person and to grow as an individual.
I
am learning, that with every next level of life; there is a demand
for a different version of yourself. As a result, we must always be
growing, evolving, learning and improving. Changing your mindset,
your lifestyle and your priorities requires a lifetime of education
and a commitment to personal growth. I will forever be a student in
this department and will always work to improve my relationships, my
career, my confidence and my businesses
Old ways won’t open
new doors and we only get this one life. From now on, I DECIDE MY
VIBE.
And you should too….
XOXO
Allison Rose
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