Have you ever spent time with a person, and at the end of it, felt like you had been holding your breath? Maybe, you can’t put your finger on it, but you just don’t feel like you. Perhaps, you even feel drained or a little down. If you do, that might be a sign that you’re in a toxic relationship.

As a young adult I was determined to have a beautiful lawn just like my parents did. They had over six gardens, and five acres of perfectly manicured lawn. I too wanted just as beautiful curb appeal to my home.

         The first year I was able to work in the yard, I had my heart set on having a gorgeous green lawn, that made people want to slow down when they drove by. Instead, I ended up with a mound of weeds! Giant. Horrible. Tangles of weeds. I spent time picking them out, and to no avail. I decided to consult my parents as to why my beloved lawn was the perfect breeding ground for these intruders?

         With the help of my parents I was going to put extra weed and feed down. Perhaps I hadn’t applied it quite right. No big deal, this was going to work out just fine. I would watch it closer the second year. That summer, half of my yard had few weeds, and the other half was teaming with even more weeds than the year before!

         What could I possibly be doing wrong? I am not a fantastic gardener, but green grass shouldn’t be this hard. Ego aside, I it was time to bring out the big guns,(a.k.a. my parents) for year three. I wanted that green lawn, and this time I was not going to lose to a fake flower. It didn’t take my Mom, but a minute to figure out what was going on. She looked over into my neighbor’s yard. It was completely neglected. Their grass, and weeds were so high it looked like a wheat field. 

         She showed me their lack of care was causing me to have too many seeds getting blown right into my yard! What they did, and didn’t do was directly affecting me. No matter how hard I tried, their weeds were going over to my grass. Every time I looked to that side of my house, I felt angry that they were able to affect my own yard so much.

         The fourth year, I decided not to even bother. Why try and fix something that I had no control over? Those weeds were going to spring up weather I wanted them to or not. BIG MISTAKE! This time, from mylack of attention, the weeds were five times worse. How was it even possible for that yard to look any worse?

         The fifth year, I decided that if I wanted different results, I was going to have to do something more drastic. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it was, what was needed.I graveled out that whole section of my yard. It turned out to be the best thing I could have done. It created just enough barrier that I could focus on the other half of my yard. It kept the weeds out, and I was able to have the glorious yard I had imagined. 

         Just like the weeds in my yard. I hadn’t expected what certain relationships were doing to my life. It took me five years to realize that other people affected me weather I wanted them to or not. Trying harder, or not caring at all was only going to make things worse for me. Sometimes, putting up a barrier is the best thing we can do. Also, remember that the weeds we leave in your yard will become seeds in someone else’s.Don’t mistake that what you do only affects you.

Chantalle D'Spain
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