~ Care for yourself first, so you can care for others. ~

~ Self-care isn’t selfish. ~

~ You can’t pour from an empty cup. ~

You’ve heard that all before, right? But, no matter how much you may agree with all of that, what is your reality?

For me…?

I have been in the ‘land of the littles’ for six years with two kiddos, along with managing my home, running (now) two businesses, hosting a weekly church group in our home, trying to squeeze in date nights with my husband… Exercise? When can that happen…? Time to myself OR Girls night? I’ve been too tired to think of it.

Really, trying to FIT IN Self-Care felt like another obligation. Another thing on my never-ending to-do list. Yet, it’s something I have almost felt pressured to do, for my own ‘benefit.’


I’ve decided to make myself a priority. AND I’ve decided to define Self-Care for myself.

This means I’ve been asking myself some questions to figure out what is important to me. To determine what would refresh me and make me feel taken care of. Do I want alone time, where someone isn’t constantly needing something from me? Would more girl-time be a Self-Care thing… or just something I REALLY want more of?

I’m still thinking through the answers to these questions but so far I’ve decided that I do need:

  • Time to myself: (but how often and doing what, TBD. Though, massage for sure to be included.)
  • Time for my health goals: (I’m getting this nailed down FINALLY, thanks to some great supporters in my life.)
  • AND… I NEED more date nights with my husband! He’s a pretty rad guy but we get caught up in parenting-land so much, we forget how much we love time with just us.

My point is this: YES, Self-Care really is as important for you as ‘they’ say it is. But… For it to be valuable for YOU, figure out what helps/uplifts/encourages/fills YOU.

  • Don’t feel obligated to get your nails done (or FILL IN THE BLANK activity), if you don’t care about it.
  • Don’t feel guilty if all you want to do is hang out drinking coffee by yourself.
  • Don’t feel like you must have it all figured out, to even Start taking better care of you.
  • DO ask yourself what you value. Is it what you used to love to do in a different time (pre-kids, for example)? What makes you feel Energized? Rested? At Peace?
  • DO what matters for YOU and do it with Gusto and without Pressure from those around you.

Remember, Self-Care is supposed to Fill Your Cup. And if it doesn’t, change it up! But just prioritize YOU. The rest of your life (and relationships) will thank you!

Beth Gordon
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