I Hide From My Children.

by | Life Lessons, Motherhood, Our Stories, Our Struggles

I Hide From My Children.

Let’s be honest, we all do this. We all duck into bathroom for longer than necessary so we can have a couple blissful minutes of using our phones for something other than Paw Patrol. Not that we get any real peace, they are still yelling “ Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom” through the door and sticking their little fingers though the crack at the bottom, begging for a snack like starving prisoners.

Anyone else hide in their closet?? I have convinced my children the closet must have some kind of recording studio grade soundproofing. They know if mom is in there she can’t hear a darn thing. Here’s hoping that little rouse lasts through high school. My garage is another great local in my house. My kids are, for some reason, afraid to go out there alone. If I sneak in there while no one is watching, I can get a few blissful moments of quiet and sneak mouthfuls of the treats I hide in the garage fridge. To be honest, that tends to be either ice cream or booze. Depends on the day.

My newest favorite avoidance feels like an extravagance. My oldest is nearly 13. We live in a community where everything is very nearby so I have been letting her watch the other two for short periods of time. When the need for a few moments of peace from the constant Mommimg is urgent, I come up with a reason to get in my car. For example, I will “forget” an item for dinner and have to run to the store, or I’ll have to pick up something at the post office, or run something to a neighbor… You get the idea. I then get into my car, ALONE, and blast my most inappropriate music. I may do said errand, or I may just circle the neighborhood a few times yelling some Ludacris lyrics at the top of my lungs and having a car dance party.

While I definitely do all of the above, I truly feel so grateful to have been given the responsibility of my three small humans. It’s never easy. In fact, I feel it only gets harder the older they get. Some days I want to hide. Some days I want to give up. Some days I wonder if anything I’m doing matters. Some days I wonder if I’m failing them, if there was more I could have done, if there is more I should be doing. But in the quiet of the evening, when I have tucked them in bed, I realize that “ Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom” is all they really need.

I wrote this little letter to myself after one such quiet evening and wanted to share it with you. I called it “Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom”.

“Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom”

Sometimes it’s so exhausting to be “Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom”. To feel like the only responsible party, to feel the incessant calls to help, feed, soothe, fix, be. It’s so easy to focus on the never ending call to arms. But, in the quiet, after the chaos of the day, I am overcome with gratitude. Joy beyond description fills my soul. I hear my girls giggling secretively because they know they are supposed to be sleeping and even though Charlotte has her own room, she still chooses to sleep with her sister.

I see my precious son, still sucking his thumb in his sleep and snuggled up with his ratty blankey.

My heart explodes and I am reminded why it is such a privilege to be “Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom” For a little time more I get to beHolder of all the answers, Keeper of where all things reside, Maker of the best snacks, Receiver of contented smiles.

AKA “Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom”

To all the other Mom Mom Mom Mom Moms out there, you are enough. We are enough. Let’s give ourselves some grace, some appreciation, and for god’s sake, some permission to hide when we need to from these tiny terrorists who melt our souls

Misty Mason
Latest posts by Misty Mason (see all)